Friday, July 13, 2012

The Shadow World of Facebook

 My intention in this post is not to rail against Facebook, or the interwebs in general, but rather to look at a powerful presence, and the shadow of that presence, which captivates and enthralls 900 million people around the (mostly Western) world. Not everyone falls prey to the shadow of Facebook, and I have dear friends that have a significant and, I think, meaningful presence on the social network. I have no trouble stipulating that Facebook can be a force for good, for connectedness, even for valuable information and for the advancement of humane and social causes. I love seeing photos of my nephew's new baby and the sense that people I love are not as far away as traditional notions of space and geography imply, but truly, deep relational work does not seem to constitute the bulk of Facebook interactions. And don't get me wrong, I think there is a welcome place for frivolous, fond interactions, but as my tutor says, "But It was always yet the trick of our English nation, if they have a good thing, to make it too common."

Facebook has a profound shadow, a shadow that often unseats relationship, reason, and humility and allows one to live within a world in which people only offers masks to one another; deeper, authentic selves are lost, and that's exactly why, I think, Facebook is so popular. Facebook was born in a Harvard dorm room as a way to rate the "hotness" of students--a vanity project that would doubtless be fun for some and seem cruel and humiliating to others. Facebook emerged in the world for the sole purpose of capitalizing (capitalization seems the singular intention behind Facebook) upon and reinforcing the exceedingly superficial and extraordinarily unmeritorious aristocracy of appearance; from its very beginnings Facebook was an appeal to narcissism. Doesn't that make intuitive sense? After all, American culture itself is nothing if not narcissistic. Is there any other explanation for the phenomenon that Facebook has become? Perhaps this is unfair, but it seems that Facebook is now the preferred way for hundreds of millions of people to show off (as of April of this year an estimated 900 million people subscribe to Facebook, 155 million in the U.S. alone, almost half of the entire American population). "Look what I had for lunch; see where I am and what I'm doing, and aren't I cool; I'm so sophisticated and smart." What exasperates me most of all is the constant posting of other people's (usually famous dead people) wise quotes which, by the way, I often find to be out of context or misunderstood indicating that the quoter has not realized that the quotee has a much larger body of work--a book, perhaps--that one might want to read to more fully understand what is actually being suggested. I would rather have three thoughtful paragraphs from a person explaining his or her own ideas about life rather than these cherry-picked quotes or worse, the political and spiritual mini-manifestos people seem so comfortable imposing on their virtual friends. And I do mean virtual: vir·tu·al adj.
1. Existing or resulting in essence or effect though not in actual fact, form, or name: the virtual extinction of the buffalo.
2. Existing in the mind, especially as a product of the imagination. Used in literary criticism of a text.
3. Computer Science Created, simulated, or carried on by means of a computer or computer network. (Italics are mine).

But then, narcissism is not open to deep thought; instead it focuses on the superficial because there is a disturbing sense that the inner depths will prove to be empty. In fact, the horrible intuitive sense of possessing no inner life, which is the subjective experience of an equisitely fragile ego, is exactly the condition which evokes the defensive personality development of narcissism and causes the world--and the people in it--outside of one's own thoughts or concerns to disappear. On Facebook, you have "friends," but these are often not relationally significant in the sense of traditionally understood friendships but are instead relationships to supernumeraries; Facebook friends are frequently nothing more than background, stage extras present to lend credibility but are without a significant role in the unfolding drama of one's own life. But narcissism is no longer recognized as a pathological condition, narcissism is in fact the new normal in Western culture: narcissism as a psychiatric disorder is being removed from the forthcoming edition of the DSM.

People imagine themselves on Facebook the way they would like to be--like to be, but must know deep within that they aren't--seen in reality. This wouldn't be a problem if the effort were made to imagine themselves into the world, to make the word flesh, as it were. But most don't. They confine their imaginal self to the social networking site. Granted, this is easier and it avoids all the potential difficulties and conflicts of the material world interfusing with the imaginal. If the world were in reality the world Facebook users fantasize, it would be so overflowing with brave, risk-taking, tough, ruggedly independent, and honest people who know with 100% certainty what is best for them and everyone else that there would be hardly any room to move among all the certainty, wisdom, self-confidence, strength, love, Buddhas and Bodhisattvas blissed out on the planet. All the trains would run on time and everyone would be robustly self reliant. And cats. There would be so many goddamn cats in the world that entire ecosystems would become dangerously imbalanced by the disappearance of rats or the exponential increase in allergies to endure and hairballs to navigate.

I just had the most interesting experience. I walked into my bedroom on my way to the bathroom to comb my hair and head out to work, when I saw an unidentifiable something lying on the floor. I didn't--I couldn't--place it, it looked utterly strange to me and I didn't know if it was an insect or just some new permutation of dust bunny. But when I bent down to pick it up, I had the feeling that this might be a dream, and then, quickly, I told myself no, of course not.  Still, there was a sense of something uncanny possessing me as I bent toward the item to pick it up, as though it was about to morph into something monstrous as things have a habit of doing in dreams, and ultimately I couldn't be sure if I was dreaming or not. That's how I understand Facebook; many subscribers to it are often dreaming and not knowing it, and so being unaware they mistake the dream for the real. That's the only explanation for all the wisdom, power, omniscience and inspiration stored up on Facebook while the world itself goes begging for these qualities.

Ultimately, Facebook serves to keep many people out of the world, it prevents them from acting in the world to change or valorize or bear witness to one's meager and unremarkable corner of it, ironically dooming one's small space to unremarkability and meagerness. Although Prince Hal was often a narcissist, he was on occasion surprisingly and, perhaps, presciently self aware: "Thus we play the fools with the time; and the spirits of the wise sit in the clouds and mock us" (Henry IV part II, Act II, scene ii).

18 comments:

  1. "... narcissism as a psychiatric disorder is being removed from the forthcoming edition of the DSM."

    Oh. My. That says it all.

    Great post, Brad. I have deleted my Facebook account once before. After reading this, I am tempted to do it again :)

    (Well, that's if you *could* delete it; you can't. You can only sort of "suspend" it)

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  2. Hey, Sue, thanks. Your appreciation of what I write means a lot. Plus I learn a lot from you, like what a "nong" is for instance. I have a facebook account, but I hardly ever use it. Usually just to cross post to my blog which, in this case, I thought might be too hypocritical even for me.
    Best regards,
    Brad

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  4. Insightful post as always, Brad. FaceBook seems to be the very quintessence of "persona." I wonder what Jung would say.

    I left FaceBook a year ago, no regrets, and thought I'd share my list of reasons I compiled on the day I left. This appears to be a bit of a fad right now.

    1) The word "friend," already under attack from language's tendency to be weakened over time, is even less meaningful because of Facebook.

    2) Checking status has become a genuine nervous habit. Especially with a smartphone in my pocket.

    3) When I posted, my ego was being validated through others' clicking a Like button or commeting. Conversely, no one commenting felt like invalidation as a person.

    4) Up late one night, I was posting comments. Apparently this caused my mother's smartphone to wake her up. She concluded that tagging photos at 1:30am meant I was suicidal and got freaked out. This should never have happened; what I do at 1:30am is not my mother's business.

    5) Unlike any past time in my life, when relationships end I now find myself being forced to ask, "do I unfriend them on FaceBook?" I find this question too odd, and feel put-upon for having to ask it.

    6) Someone I dated simply used me, to have a FaceBook "friend" and a free couch to crash on wheneven in town. Upon reflection, I realized I was one of dozens like of "friends" like this for them.

    7) Zombie friendships. They need to die, would have died naturally in any other time, but FaceBook lets them persist on.

    8) My ex-spouse engaged in emotional cheating on FaceBook. But because the rules are fuzzy on FaceBook, this was denied as being cheating.

    9) Leaving FaceBook feels like a conscious, declarative statement I'm making about what I let into my life, instead of me just accepting a pop-culture norm unconsciously and by default.

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  5. Thank you for your comment, Ranger B.
    I think FB does, as you point out, traffic mainly in persona. The world has become so large, and so impersonal, and so many feel unimportant and impotent, that things seeming to offer some individual attention become quickly devoured.

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  6. Great comment, Ranger B.

    I have realised recently that I am intolerant to dairy. It took me ages to realise it, and it wasn't until I stopped taking it for a while, and then started taking it again, that my body was really able to show me (in a rather strong way) what this substance was doing to me.

    I feel a little this way about Facebook. I work on a computer, and so there Facebook is every day, encouraging me to come and click. I feel like a rat pressing a bar in a laboratory experiment to get food. Instant recognition. I am addicted to Facebook in the same way that I have been addicted to dairy.

    Is simulacra the next step along from persona?

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  7. I use fb as a broadcast system. I am writing stuff and so I like to circulate it. Sometimes it gets comment and sometimes not.

    I do not mind that everyone is doing whatever they are doing on fb. One perk I get is info from martial artists around the world. Another is from the creativity of relatives and friends.

    To me, it is like the old ham radio with the screech of atmospheric static. As in the olden days, I simply tune out the static of fb and attune to what interests me.

    I have been in close conversational contact with people of similar interests from India, Japan, Russia, Germany, Netherlands, France, England,Canada, Mexico, South America, and other places for some time now. Just as with a telegraph key, one gets to know a person's "fist," so one gets to know a person one has never met when conversing via typed word over time.

    While I respect and acknowledge everyone's reservations here, I find fb a valuable tool for expression and communication.

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  8. Thanks for replying, George. And, to re-emphasize, I noted in the first paragraph of this essay just what you've written here. Increasingly, we live in a shadow dominated world to which social media makes a tremendous contribution, and one result of which is diminishing civility. I received an email that you had posted this essay to your FB page; I bet that there will be responders who will disagree with me much less gracefully than you have. And I don't entirely agree with myself (I hardly ever do, which is one reason why I write these essays...). For example, in addition to what you have pointed out, Leigh carried on a passionate crusade against fracking, and never failed to make me smile with genuinely witty humor and a minimal use of cats. But there remains a darkness to social media sites (I didn't even mention the predators of all varieties lurking about) which robs us of something humane. Many web sites, including Blogger, allow people to remain anonymous when commenting and this might allow for a freer exchange of information, but it also allows for cowardly scoundrels to "hit and run."
    As always, I am so appreciative that you read and comment, and are willing to wrestle with me.
    Best,
    Brad

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  9. Interesting column, Brad. Quite honestly, I was thinking a couple of hours ago about how much my knowledge has expanded due to Facebook. Mind you, I'm not a huge fan of Facebook. But I would never have "met" some of the fine folks who are my "friends" had it not been for Facebook.

    I don't put you or George Breed in that category because I "met" George via his blogs ~ back in the day when such meetings were by destiny, chance, and not programmatically arranged via Facebook. I first learned of you through George's blogs. So, yes, such fortuitous meetings can occur outside of Facebook, but I suspect they are rarer.

    I've also been able to continue "friendships" via Facebook ~ folks I've met as part of my journalism, for example, and have become friends with in a fashion that is far more frequent than the usual pen-pal type of correspondence.

    There are things I simply cannot stand about Facebook, and have dumped my share of "friends" who turned out to be unlikeable people. But all in all, Facebook has been good. It has added value to my life ... so long as I keep my presence on it to a reasonable minimum.

    I enjoyed your thoughts, Brad, and my thanks to you for writing them down.

    ~Greg

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    1. Thanks for your thoughts, Greg. I'm very glad you took the time to comment here. As I hope you know, I have a great deal of respect for you and your thinking, and I am glad that, via FB I get to experience more of that than I otherwise would. So, as you can see, I am in conflict with myself about this (which is usually the reason I write about anything). Woody Allen said, "I am at two with myself" and this describes it pretty well. That said, I am still convinced that in toto FB is more often possessed by its own shadow than not, but I can't deny some good people and thoughts have come into my life because of it.

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  10. Oh god, how i'm tired of the cat pics!

    And yes, the shadow side of FB is a big one. But "truly, deep relational work does not seem to constitute the bulk of..." MOST people's days, anyway. I don't go to FB for that. I go to see what folks are doing and talking about. I go because sometimes there are deep insightful post, or great quotes and mini-manifestos to pass along.

    Yes, you see I'm one of the WORST offenders of sharing quotes. I love them. If I can't put something on a bumpersticker, it's not simple enough. I like condensed magic. I like masks in general because they are the faces of self that we are willing to share - and I'll take sharing over covering up, any day. I like to share words. FB is a great place for that. If I want deep connection, I go somewhere else.

    For me, the big shadowy effect FB has on me, is the time suck. Thank GOD I don't have more friends! As a FB friend said just this morning, he has "arousal addiction" when he comes to his FB page and gets the little red flags meaning that someone has paid him attention. I too come to FB with the hope of being seen - even in a small way - but the number of times I go there is my problem.

    I am fascinated with FB's role/place in the world. Thank you for illuminating more of it's multilayered reality, Brad.

    Naima

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    1. Thanks for commenting, Naima. The time suck is a common experience, and potentially problematic. But you are right, it can be a way to bed seen in an increasingly impersonal world. FB is a fascinating artifact of contemporary life and when one begins to look closely at it, it takes one deep into complexity.

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  11. "For example, in addition to what you have pointed out, Leigh carried on a passionate crusade against fracking, and never failed to make me smile with genuinely witty humor and a minimal use of cats."

    The narcissist in me is so pleased to be noticed!

    (And fracking sux.)
    (And here is a picture of my cat: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=443192315713577&set=a.204531299579681.52326.100000684365822&type=3&theater)

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  12. More seriously...

    I have a passionate and uncomfortable relationship with the Facebook Borg.

    It is the land of banality and narcissism, of course.

    But it is also a place where community gets built. As one example: It has, in large part, made the resistance to hydrofracking in NYS possible -- for something like this, it is a clearinghouse of information, connections, ideas, events, directives, etc. I am on several fracking activism listservs and am struck by the fact that they NEVER trump the speed at which news travels through the community on Facebook. It has helped us get to over 1,000 registrants in less than a week on a website where we're asking for people who don't want their property to be fracked to register their name, location, and acreage.

    It fueled a recent collecting of friends far flung in years and geography in my home town to celebrate music that we made together twenty to thirty years ago.

    It is a place where I can go with my monkey mind and push out ideas into the world -- things that are interesting or distressing or gorgeous, in a quick, and yes, in many ways, shallow way. But this is the world of the glance... Have you read Ed Casey's book on this, Brad?

    http://www.iupress.indiana.edu/product_info.php?products_id=41706

    He shared some bits with me as I was writing my dissertation, as the glance and frivolity often loosely clasp hands.

    Perhaps that's why I'm not so bothered by the lightness and the silliness of much of what is Facebook -- it is frivolous. Like you, I quickly tire of the sameness that emerges in the form of uncredited quotes (I have less issue than you with a quick quote because I think it can spur thought -- the attack of Victorian era sentimentality makes my teeth itch, but even two lines of Mary Oliver, for example, can change the course of my day -- sort of a poetic butterfly wing changing weather patterns...), the menu items, etc. Or a personal horror-- the people who insist on sharing pictures of dogs who are purportedly inches from death at a shelter somewhere thousands of miles from me so I can do anything but agonize. But we can make the purveyors of such inanity disappear fairly easily from our Facebook worlds if we choose, not by 'defriending' them, but by changing how their feeds show up in our worlds.

    For me, the discomfort of Facebook has more to do with the agreement that we've all made about living in an owned sandbox. I find Zuckerberg and his cohort unbelievably unattractive and it distresses me that I play their game. I probably would find most anyone who owned discourse in this way equally unattractive. It distresses me that this is a corporate venture and therefore vulnerable to all of the diseases of the corporate culture of this era. I love wikipedia philosophically far more, for example, because it is a collective venture. But I haven't ever joined the ranks of its content folks, in part because I found the signing on process confusing.

    Bottom line, I don't know that our discourse on Facebook is any more shallow or rich than it is anywhere else. It is not a deep conversation, but instead, the virtual equivalent, in many ways, of the fish in the tank in Python's The Meaning of Life, all saying, "morning!" "morning!" "morning!" to each other as they pass by one another in endless rotation...

    Cheers!
    xoxoxo
    L.

    (PS: I am finding it amusing that this is the one post of yours that I've been moved to write a long response to -- this is in part due, absolutely, to my engagement with this devil's tool and sense of what it offers as well as what it doesn't, and probably reflects my addiction. But, in my defense, it's also one of the few articles you've written that I feel like I've got something reasonably thoughtful to say about, rather than saying, oooh, that Brad! He's so smart. And so smart. And he just said that so much more richly than I could have... >;-)....)

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  13. ...(many hours later when my posts haven't been posted yet)...

    ...did I mention how much this narcissist loves the instant gratification of Facebook posting?

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    1. Hahahahahahahahaha! I haven't intentionally ignored this post; I love that you commented at length and if I had not been roasting in St. Louis similarly to the way St. Bernard was roasting in Dante's hell, sans being buried upside down, I would have responded post haste. God, you kill me. The Python reference is really appropriate and really does capture the medium (the old joke about being neither rare nor well done is applicable here). But there is a kind of anti-intellectualism at work on FB. For instance, I was catching up after returning from St. Louis (yes, I am aware of the hypocrisy inherent in this)and saw that Stephanie posted a longish reverie on a silly post by George, but it sparked her and in her rhapsodic enjoyment of the reverie it sparked, she posted it. It was replied to (not by George) with snark that in my mind revealed this unwillingness to think hard--it must hurt that particular guy's head to do so--and it also revealed a deep unconscious belief that women are only of value in sexual arenas. Sort of like the old Chaucerian notion that all cats are gray in the dark, this guy seems to imply that a good schtupping will shut her up. This kind of thing just hurts my heart when clearly she wasn't preaching at or to anyone or making any grand pronouncements, just sharing a thought that happened to be longer, probably, than the time it takes for this guy to take a shit, an occurrence which seems to make it automatically unreadable. At moments like that, I think, "Aak! I hate FB." So my relationship is uncomfortable, too, because it does let me stay aware of what's going on and see pictures and imagine voices of people I love, but still....

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  14. My cat is gray in the dark and in the light. Please see above referenced picture. I don't know what that says about schtupping.

    Bwaahaaahaa!

    Yeah, unfortunately social media doesn't remove assholery...now THAT is a button I could get behind...

    xoxoxoxoxoxo
    L.

    PS: Glad to hear that the inferno has subsided.

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  15. See, I was even uncivil in my last comment. I'm sorry, everyone. Yes, I came back to a marvelous 62° and thunderstorms!

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